3 Simple Tips to Having an Orgasm Every Time

Ever wonder how to make it easier to reach an orgasm? Our friends at Shape share their tips and tricks.

There’s a blow-your-mind climax in your future tonight, and every night, if you use these pleasure-boosting, research-backed strategies.

1. Tune In to Your Body

Distracting thoughts are the number-one reason why women have difficulty reaching orgasm, says Vanessa Marin, a certified sex therapist and the founder of Finishing School, an online orgasm course for women. (Here: 21 Surprising Facts You Should Know About Your Orgasm.) “We multitask so much these days that we have a hard time being fully in the moment, even during sex,” she says. And nothing kills an orgasm faster than thinking about some big meeting at work or an argument you had with your sister.

It makes sense, then, that women who are better able to tune out distractions tend to climax more often and enjoy sex more than those who don’t, according to research in the journal Sexual and Relationship Therapy. To stay focused and present, Marin recommends concentrating on one specific body part that’s feeling great, like your neck or your breasts as they’re being kissed. This will instantly redirect your mind back to the action, making it easier to intensify your arousal. Use this technique every time you catch your mind wandering. (More expert tips on how to eliminate mental and physical distractions during sex.)

2. Breathe Right

No joke: Breathing like you do when you’re turned on may help you climax. That’s because your inhales and exhales can influence your emotions; it’s why deep, slow breaths can calm you down when you’re tense. Marin recommends experimenting with different types of breath. Taking short, quick breaths for a few minutes as you build up to your orgasm may boost your heart rate and heighten your sensations. Or switch to deeper breaths to help relax and tune in to the moment. (These 3 Breathing Exercises for Better Sex will help you get started.)

3. Fantasize a Little (Or a Lot)

If you’re having trouble finishing, cue up a go-to fantasy or think about the hottest sex you’ve ever had. Worrying about whether you’ll finish depresses desire and dulls your body’s response, which makes it harder to orgasm, Marin says. Using your imagination is proven to make your skin more sensitive, helping to bring on the O. (Or learn how to have multiple orgasms!)

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